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Circle Etiquette is something that both new seekers and seasoned pagans could benefit from learning or relearning. How we conduct ourselves as we are paying respect to the Divine reflect on who we are as people and pagans.

We should be respectful, attentive, and work with the directions given to achieve the desired results of the ritual. Now that does not mean we need to be starch shirt conservatives who don’t enjoy our faith and its practices. It just means to act in a way that makes the celebration enjoyable for all involved.

Also remember that mistakes do happen, we are human after all. It is totally acceptable to let out a small giggle if in the middle of ritual something humorous occurs. Just don’t be disruptive or rude.I have included some basic dos and don’ts to be used as basic guidelines. Every group and tradition has their own rules regarding how one conducts themselves in ritual.It is also important to focus on what the ritual’s intended theme is. You don’t want to focus on prosperity when you are attending a healing rite. Magick only works when the mind focus’ on the job at hand. But most importantly of all have fun and enjoy the company of your pagan brothers and sisters.

Dos

relax and enjoy yourself (you aren’t in a business meeting)

 participate as much as the ritual allows (a circle is a participation event)

 dress comfortably within the guidelines of the group holding the ritual (don’t show up skyclad If its not approved beforehand)

 one word HYGEINE ( who wants to take deep meditational breaths beside someone with bad breath and body odor)

 ask the person hosting the ritual beforehand what to bring and what to wear (especially if there is to be a feast)

 show up ON TIME (make sure you ask what time to show up and what time ritual is to start)

 stay quiet and focused while preparing to enter the sacred space (this is getting your mind ready for the ritual)

 go to the bathroom before ritual (may be a while til you have a chance to go again)

 help clean up afterward

Don’ts

come to a ritual drunk or high

EVER walk widdershins (counterclockwise) in a sacred space

be loud, disruptive or rude

enter a circle if you have a time restraint issue(you can’t rush the Divine…they don’t like it)

touch the altar unless instructed to (ritual items are cleansed and charged and you may disrupt their energy by touching them)

enter the circle with negativity (will bring negative results to the magick performed)

 be afraid to sit down if you feel sick or dizzy (we don’t want you to pass out and the energy can be overwhelming)

 leave the circle without being properly “cut” out (ruins the cone of power)

 chit chat with other members while in circle (is disruptive and rude)

 forget to relax and enjoy yourself

Originally Published in the Llewellyn 2007 Wicca Almanac

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          Stress caused by our lifestyle and culture plagues us all in one or another.  Stress can cause muscle tension, illness, depression, and high blood pressure, along with promoting use of alcohol, drugs, tobacco, food and other addictions.  We, as magical folk, can use our Divinely given talents to help ourselves and those around us reduce the stress in our world.  Here are seven simple ways anyone can create a little stress-free magic in their lives.

          1) Meditate regularly.  Most pagan traditions use meditation as part of their daily practices anyway, so why not incorporate stress reduction into those practices. If you don’t practice daily meditations then why not start. Meditating daily will help you with your focus and ability to raise energy when it is needed for spell working and ritual. Before starting your daily meditation ritual spend a few minutes clearing your mind of the stresses that could keep you from enjoying your meditation time.  Practiced over time this will result in more productive and more relaxing meditations.

          2) Take back time for yourself.  Every person on this planet has the power to make time for them, but few do. This causes stress.  Even if you can only steal away five or ten minutes a day this will help you feel more relaxed and cared for.

          3) Take a walk every day (if possible) Walking is not only excellent exercise, but it is a great stress reliever.  It gets the blood pumping and arms and legs going.  If the weather is less than pleasant take a walk around a local mall or museum or take the steps to your office instead of the elevator.  The idea is to get outside and commune with Mother Nature, but if its blizzard conditions outside then at least keep the muscles working for when it is nice.

          4) Listen to music while you are doing mundane activities.  Most chain stores now carry cds and cassettes of relaxing music (usually near the candles) for minimal cost.  Play relaxing music or nature sounds that appeal to you.  This will take your mind off of the mundane work you are performing and will allow you to relax and let your mind wander.  Some employers allow music to be played at a low volume while working, if you have a choice in the music; use the music to inspire creativity and productivity without stress and frustration.

          5) Use scent and aromatherapy in high stress areas.  If you hate doing the dishes and cooking stresses you out use pleasant scented dish soap or simmer some relaxing potpourri on the stove (make sure to keep adding water) to let the power of scent relax and invigorate you.  There are aromatherapy dish detergents on the market or make your own using scent or essential oils in plainly scented dish detergent.  Even at the office you can place a vanilla scented candle on your desk or a bowl of potpourri if you cannot burn a candle in your office.  If you work as a service person and do not have a desk, wear relaxing oil instead of perfume, but make sure you carry the bottle with you for touch ups during the day.

          6) Use your time in the bathroom bathing to your advantage. Instead of taking a quick shower 10 minutes before you have to run out the door rearrange your schedule to take your time the night before. Lock the door, light candles, play music, have a bubble bath and relax.  If you prefer showers use a scented body wash that is pleasing to your senses and let the heat of the water relax all the stress away. 

          7) Create a home where stress is not allowed to dwell.  Magically charge your home to repel stress as you would any other form of negativity.  Do not allow stress to live in the corners or murk in the shadows.  Burn cleansing incenses often and do ritual cleansings when you feel the stress level building up.  By keeping your home as a stress free sanctuary you have a place to always escape to and feel safe.

          These are only a few suggestions on how to use simple common sense magic to help alleviate the stress that can cause damage if unchecked.  You do not need to do all of these for results, try using one and see how it works for you, then add another if you wish.  I hope you find the secrets to a stress free life (and if you do make sure you email me the secret).

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            You’ve been invited to attend a Pagan ritual, welcome, we are glad to have you.  Here are some things you need to know to make your experience more meaningful, enjoyable and less confusing.  First of all, remember that Pagans are just like any other faith, they have holidays, traditions, ceremonies, rituals and churches just like any other faith.  Whether you’ve been invited to a coming of age ceremony, a pagan wedding or a holiday celebration, chances are you’ll be seeing and feeling things that may seem a bit strange to you.  That is why you are reading this, to prepare you a bit for some of the events you may encounter.

            The first thing that may be different from what you are used to is that our sacred space is not in an established church building like other faiths.  Pagans usually hold their observances in their homes or outdoors.  Make sure you ask whoever invited you what climate to dress for so you aren’t over or underdressed, we wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.  Also similar to other faiths pagans hold their observances in a specific order.  Ritual is usually opened by either the Priest or Priestess or Both depending on the group.  Also most groups stand in a circle for their rites.  This is done for a specific reason so make sure you follow the guide of the others in the circle. 

            You may also notice that the people in the ritual may be dressed different.  Some pagans wear garb to ritual, which is similar to what you would see at a renaissance fair or mayday festival, others wear costumes of the deities depicted, but most wear robes or cloaks or both.  Pagans dress in this way to separate themselves from everyday activities.  Its similar to dressing nice to go to church as some Christians do for holidays and special services.  You may also see people wearing special jewelry, headpieces, masks or face and body paint.  All these things have special significance to the people wearing them.                Now that we are past the differences in the dress you may see, let’s go onto what makes a pagan circle a pagan circle.  Most groups have an altar set either on one side of the sacred area or in the middle of where everyone will be standing.  It is important not to touch any of the items on the altar unless permission is given; these are special tools for those performing the ritual and are placed carefully on the altar for the event.  Generally an altar is a flat platform or table covered in cloth and decorated to reflect the event.  You may see animal skins or bones, crystals, bowls, candles, a bell, knives, flowers or anything else significant to the event being celebrated.  This is normal, you will not be asked to handle anything you are uncomfortable handling or participating in any way which makes you uneasy.  If anyone makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable in any way alert either the person who brought you someone with the group holding the event.  You are a guest and should enjoy your experience.

            During the ritual itself you may see people calling the various directions, the high priest and priestess blessing the entrants and each other with water, smoke or oil.  Do not feel obligated to be anointed if you do not want to be or are allergic or asthmatic.  Your safety and comfort are of our highest concerns.  You may also see food and drink passed for sharing.  If you do not consume alcohol please ask if it is alcoholic in nature and if so simply pass it on without taking a drink.  The same goes for food allergies, just simply pass the food to the next person.

            If at any time you feel dizzy or need to sit down during the ritual please stay where you are and sit or alert someone within the group to be removed from the area. Please do NOT just leave, this is not just disruptive and rude, but it may harm the energies raised and cause problems with the circle.  This is by far one of the most important things to remember about attending a pagan circle.

            Also you may be enjoying a feast during or after the ritual is over.  This is a time to relax, talk, eat, drink and be merry.  Feel free to ask questions, discuss what you experienced and make new friends.  Pagans are friendly people and most will be happy to answer any questions you have.

            In summation here are a few points to remember.

1.      Ask about where the ritual will be held and dress accordingly

2.      Pagans are just like anyone else, they aren’t trying to lure you into a sacrifice.

3.      Don’t allow anyone to make you feel uncomfortable, speak up

4.      Alert someone if you need to leave the area or feel ill/dizzy

5.      Don’t feel pressured to partake in anything you don’t wish to.

6.      Enjoy yourself that is why you are there, to learn and enjoy.

Hail and Be welcome!

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            We, as pagans, like our pomp and circumstance.  We like our rituals, our tools and our revelry.  And like other faiths we like to have reminders of our commitment to our Gods and Goddesses around us.  Our homes are a continuation of our personalities.  They are our sanctuaries, our refuge and our safety zones.  Within our homes we have things that serve practical purposes and things that are ornamental, and some things serve both purposes.  Altars fall into that last category.

            Like our homes, our altars are also an extension of our personalities.  We construct altars for many purposes, some being seasonal, daily devotion, personal use, family use, group use, and spell working.  Some keep altars up all the time for use daily and to protect or watch over their surroundings. Irregardless of their intent, Altars are an important part of most pagan’s practices.  They are also extremely personal and private ways to pay homage to the Divine on a daily basis through upkeep and use of a small portion of their home given to the Divine.

If you house and your altar are both extensions of your personality, they why would your altar have to be something so different from the rest of your home? The answer to that is they don’t have to be. They can easily be made to be part of the room in which they are housed.  Altars can be made in any room, in any direction and from things you have within your home already.  Items can be added or changed as the mood strikes and they can easily be changed to reflect the sabbats, esbats or other significant event.

To start with, choose a location that stands out to you.  If you enjoy looking out a window or have a nook in your room that you like, why not use it to honor the Divine.  Be sure to make sure though that if you have small children or pets that enjoy the window as well, make sure your items aren’t in a range to be easily damaged or harmful to them.  This location should also be within reach when needed but not used for other things such as a spot where clutter is allowed to accumulate or a convenient place for people to put their drinks during television or movies. 

Altars do not have to be set in accordance with preordained ideas.  They can be just as powerful in a south facing window as they are set in the east or north according to traditional practices.  A personal altar should be just that, an altar full of personal items, set in a way that is pleasing to the eye and with your own will and energy. 

Second choice is whether or not to use a cloth.  Cloths are used to protect the altar top from damage from water, heat, wax, etc.  If you do not choose to use a cloth, consider using trivets or coasters to keep from damaging your furniture.  If you decide to go with a cloth, choose one that goes with the feeling of the room.  It need not be expensive, ornate or purchased from an expensive metaphysical shop.  A simple yard of seasonal or pretty fabric from the dollar bin at a craft store works exactly the same as a $40 velvet altar cloth from the local new age shop.  Either way the cloth should appeal to your taste and your furnishings. 

Now that you have a location and you’ve decided if the location will be covered or not, its time to move onto what to place on your altar.  For an everyday altar less is more.  You need not display all your tools or any of them for that matter.  An everyday altar is more about being ever present and ever sustaining of your energy and your will.  Choose items that have significance to you or you and your family.  Pictures of loved ones, a small family heirloom, a shell from your trip to the beach, something that is sacred to your God or Goddess etc.  Make it mean something to you and to your family.  You may choose to put the elements upon it or symbols of the elements or not, this is your choice.  I usually have a bowl of shells, stones, feathers, flowers etc that we have found on our family excursions on my altar, yours is up to you.  To represent the God and Goddess you can choose from a million different symbols, statues, etc.  Remember, the key here is the intent and will; it doesn’t have to be meaningful to anyone outside your home.  Most people will not even recognize it as an altar.  This is important to those who cannot have a traditional altar because of being in the proverbial “broom closet”. 

Placement of items should go with what is pleasing to the eye and what “feels” right.  If an item keeps falling, or you keep finding it in another position, try moving it to another spot, it may not like its placement.  You can use the traditional settings of the elements if you choose to use them or go with how your house is situated.  If you have a body of water to the east of your house, then by all means sit your fountain or shell to the east.  Go with what feels right you to.  This is your expression, no one else’s.

Once everything is placed and you are happy with your altar, be sure to bless and consecrate it.  There is no “best” way to do this.  Many different consecration rituals are readily available both in books and on the internet.  Use one that appeals to your traditions, style, taste, just make sure you do something to set this space aside for your magical endeavors.  You are making a sacrifice to your spirituality and your Gods to use this location just for them; this is something special and should be marked with even a small ritual.

One final note, if you plan to use candles on your altar, please be sure to follow all the normal safety recommendations for open flames.  No one should have to endure the loss and destruction even a small fire can inflict.  Respect for the elements dictates that we realize how destructive fire can be and act in accordance with this.  

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People who are new to the pagan community or those who are asked to attend functions as a guest are sometimes shocked or surprised by what they see at pagan events.  The pagan community is similar in many ways to other religious communities and very different in others.  It is best to prepare those who will be attending these functions beforehand so they do not go running for their cars when they encounter something they were not expecting.  Media has done its best to paint pagans as evil, supernatural and even murderous.  It is our job as the members of the pagan community to prepare our guests and newcomers so the fear they bring with them will not sully their experience.

Rituals

            You have been invited to attend a pagan ritual, welcome, we are glad to have you.  Here are some things you need to know to make your experience more meaningful, enjoyable, and less confusing.  First, remember that Pagans are just like any other faith; they have holidays, traditions, ceremonies, rituals, and churches.  Whether you have been invited to a coming of age ceremony, a pagan wedding or a holiday celebration, chances are you will be seeing and feeling things that may seem a bit strange to you.  That is why you are reading this, to prepare you a bit for some of the events you may encounter.

            The first thing that may be different from what you are used to is that most pagan sacred space is not in an established church building like other faiths.  Pagans usually hold their observances in their homes or outdoors.  Make sure you ask whoever invited you what climate to dress for, so you are not over or underdressed, would not want you to be uncomfortable.  Also similar to other faiths pagans hold their observances in a specific order.  Ritual is usually opened by either the Priest or Priestess or Both depending on the group.  Also most groups stand in a circle for their rites.  This is done for a specific reason so make sure you follow the guide of the others in the circle.  

            You may also notice that the people in the ritual may be dressed different.  Some pagans wear garb to ritual, which is similar to what you would see at a renaissance fair or mayday festival, others wear costumes of the deities depicted, but most wear robes or cloaks or both.  Pagans dress in this way to separate themselves from everyday activities.  It is similar to dressing nice to go to church as some other faith’s do for holidays and special services.  You may also see people wearing special jewelry, headpieces, masks or face and body paint.  All these things have special significance to the people wearing them.               

Now that we are past the differences in the dress you may see, let’s go onto what makes a pagan circle a pagan circle.  Most groups have an altar set either on one side of the sacred area or in the middle of where everyone will be standing.  It is important not to touch any of the items on the altar unless permission is given; these are special tools for those performing the ritual and are placed carefully on the altar for the event.  Generally an altar is a flat platform or table covered in cloth and decorated to reflect the event.  You may see animal skins or bones, crystals, bowls, candles, a bell, knives, flowers or anything else significant to the event being celebrated.  This is normal, you will not be asked to handle anything you are uncomfortable handling or participating in any way which makes you uneasy.  If anyone makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable in any way alert either the person who brought you someone with the group holding the event.  You are a guest and should enjoy your experience.

            During the ritual itself you may see people calling the various directions, the high priest and priestess blessing the entrants and each other with water, smoke or oil.  Do not feel obligated to be anointed if you do not want to be or are allergic or asthmatic.  Your safety and comfort are of the highest concern.  You may also see food and drink passed for sharing.  If you do not consume alcohol please ask if it is alcoholic in nature and if so simply pass it on without taking a drink.  The same goes for food allergies, just simply pass the food to the next person.

            If at any time you feel dizzy or need to sit down during the ritual please stay where you are and sit or alert someone within the group to be removed from the area. Please do NOT just leave, this is not just disruptive and rude, but it may harm the energies raised and cause problems with the circle.  This is by far one of the most important things to remember about attending a pagan circle.

            Also you may be enjoying a feast during or after the ritual is over.  This is a time to relax, talk, eat, drink and be merry.  Feel free to ask questions, discuss what you experienced and make new friends.  Pagans are friendly people and most will be happy to answer any questions you have.

Meetups, study groups, and small informal meetings

            In today’s world of networking websites and chat rooms, many groups have taken to holding informal meetings regularly in public arenas to welcome new people, serve as an informal support group, and to educate the public to pagan practices.  Many sites and bookstores exist to help the seeker find what they are looking for.  When one is found, it can scary to attend the first meeting, not knowing what you are going to find.

            Be aware that most of these groups meet in public areas, such as parks, churches, restaurants, and bookstores.  They do this to help the comfort level of those attending and to allow new people to come and not feel threatened by being held in a private residence where you may not feel comfortable attending.  When attending, be sure to come prepared for the topic at hand or having contacted the facilitator for more information.  Also, be sure to be on time, as most of these groups begin at a certain time and coming in late can be a disruption.

            Most of these groups are run by a local person who has volunteered to run the group and act as the facilitator of the discussion.  They are usually not in a position of high priest/ess but may offer small informal circles.  Most are conversation or discussion based and some use topics or classes to guide the discussions.  Some exist solely as a support group for those not interested in attending a formal group’s circles.  They vary widely but are generally open to the public or members of the online group.

Large outdoor events

            Larger events are held all over the world at different times of the year.  Some are held for pride rallies, some are held annually as a festival and some are held to celebrate a holiday (also called a sabbat), or Earth day.  Although these events may seem larger than life to some, they are just larger groups of likeminded people who have come together to form a community for a day or longer. 

            Most large events have websites and information available to those seeking to attend.  Be sure to look for information on lodging, prices, and duration so there are no surprises once you get onsite.  In addition, most of these groups have contact people or FAQ’s pages that address questions and concerns for people who are new or have an issue that is not covered in the basic festival information. 

Large outdoor events provide a fantastic opportunity to network, meet with other groups, types of people, and learn various things through workshops, speakers, rituals and just by striking up conversations with fellow attendees.  They also provide an opportunity to shop with a wide variety of vendors, craftspeople, and artisans not usually available anywhere else. 

Some outdoor events may be clothing optional, please be aware that when you see this descriptor in an event announcement that you will be seeing naked people of all ages, genders and shapes strolling around casually.  This does not mean that you must do so also, just that you will see others that are naked and you have the ability to do so yourself if you are so inclined. 

            Larger events also usually have suggestions for what to bring listed on their registration sites, if they do not, here is a good list of things to bring with you, even if you are only staying for an afternoon.

·        Sunscreen (very important for outdoor events)

·        Water or Sports drink, or a refillable bottle for hydration (unless restricted to onsite purchase)

·        Food packed in a cooler with ice (unless onsite food is available)

·        Money to shop at the vendors and to pay for admission

·        Basic first aid (bandages, allergy medication, prescriptions, etc)

If camping:

·        Camping gear (tent, tarps, cooking gear, etc)

·        Clothing for a variety of temperatures ( remember it may get chilly at night)

·        Bedding (including a warm blanket or sleeping bag)

·        Towels (at least 2)

·        Toiletries

·        Rain gear

When arriving on site, please remember to be patient, most of the people working these events are unpaid volunteers or are “staff” of the event, but are usually not paid employees.  Be sure to arrive during times specified for check in and registration, arriving too early or too late may mean waiting in your car until they open, and  check on departure times so that you are sure to be packed up and heading out at the proper time.

You may want to pick up any literature that is available at the registration desk and take time to look through it, it takes people time and energy to put together programming and guidebooks, and they are there to make your experience better.  They also provide information within that may not be available elsewhere, so be sure to thumb through it for information before you go looking for someone in a “staff” shirt to ask.

If you do have any problems, concerns or safety/medical issues please make sure you alert or consult a staff member.  They are there for a reason.  Most events have trained medical personnel on site to help with anything from falls to serious problems that require an ambulance.  Also most have security in place to help with any problems that may occur and to help maintain order and uphold the rules to ensure everyone attending is safe and having a good time.  

 Be sure to abide by the regulations set forth by the group holding the event, it may seem silly that you can’t drink alcohol on site or swim after midnight, but that is in place for a reason, usually something beyond the control of the group and you may be asked to leave if you refuse to comply.  Safety is of the highest concern at functions such as these and the rules are there to keep everyone from harm.

The biggest suggestion that can be made is to relax and have fun but be aware that you are sharing the event with many others who are also attempting to relax and have fun.  That is the reason these events are held, for the enjoyment of the community and for the memories and friendships they create.

Originally printed in Witchvox, August 31, 2008.
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Three years ago this spring my group was throwing around the ideas of what we wanted in our group, we had decided to create a chosen family from what were the ruins of a former group gone for some time. We looked at what we had learned, what we had gained, and what we foresaw as issues and solutions. We also looked at symbols.

We each sat down at our former Priestess’ kitchen table and considered an assortment of shapes, celestial bodies, and other symbols that would best incorporate what our ideals were for our own small fledgling of a coven. We had decided from the start to eliminate the pentacle as our “official” symbol, as we had multiple people who were still in the proverbial closet and we wanted something we could wear and display with pride without having to worry about stigma and problems.

We had a member research the various other stars and eventually decided upon the seven-pointed star, also known as the septagram, the pleiadian star, the faery star, or the elven star. We chose it because of the association with the seven sisters of Pleiades, the significance of the number seven and most importantly to us, the fact that we had started out with seven core members. We viewed the story of the seven sisters as a story of a celestial family and we were attempting to create a family within our group.

From there our symbol evolved, and our former Priestess suggested incorporating a triple moon in some way with the septagram. She suggested we see how it would look and meditate on it to see if the meanings and symbols would be appropriate.

What we came up with is our own symbol belonging to us and having our own power and energy to it. It has evolved over the past three years into an instantly recognized symbol of our family and our members and the divinity that is both surrounding and within us. It is our own coat of arms, our own symbol of our family and has really become a focus point of pride and joy that we can call it our own creation, for us by us. Having been created by our group it does not carry with it the powers of others, associated stigmas or misinformation about the meaning behind it or the reasons for using it. It exists to be a reminder of the family, the core of that family and most importantly, the divine. It fills that existence well.

My point in writing this is not to show you what we have created or to tell you that every coven should do what we have done, but to inspire you to think about the symbols that you choose to incorporate into your life, into your practices, and into your subconscious.

Symbols are powerful carriers of meaning, myth, and often misinformation. A commonly recognized miss-used symbol is the inverted pentagram associated with Satanism, Occultism, and Evil by the public and media. This is a typically the symbol of upper level training in some traditions of Wicca, usually the second degree having been attained. Its significance and meaning depends upon your level of education about the symbol and if you understand its true meaning and connotations.

Simply finding a design visually appealing is usually not enough reason to use it in spiritual endeavors. Examine the history of the symbol, the stories behind the symbol and if appropriate, the numerological meanings behind the makeup of the symbol. Examine how many strokes it takes you to draw the symbol, for that has meaning too.

Meditate on what meaning that symbol evokes within you, because even if every book printed tells you that such-and-such a symbol means one thing and every time you see it you think of something completely different it will affect the usefulness of the symbol.

What I am getting at here is delving deeper, seeking more, and making informed decisions. Do not simply wear a symbol because it is popular or pretty or adversely, shocking and appalling. Wear it because it signifies something deep within you that you want to show with an outward object. Be able to tell a curious person what the symbol means, it shows that you care about what you are wearing and what you choose to adorn your body with.

If you do not know the meaning of the symbol, why would you permanently embed that symbol into your skin? I’ve encountered way too many people in my years attending renaissance fairs, public events and Pagan festivals that are carrying around symbols in their skin that they have no idea what the meaning of them is. This is not just a Pagan problem but also more a problem of the larger culture. I am certainly not saying not to get a tattoo, as I proudly have several. I am saying that people should educate themselves on these powerful designs and choose wisely when making permanent decisions about their skin.

We currently live in a culture of eye candy and visual stimulation. Our brain processes what it sees faster than any other sense. This is why it is so easy for us to become entranced by flashy advertisements, graphics heavy games, and hours of television programs, movies, and Internet content. Even as Pagans and Witches, we use a visual component to our practices, on our altars, in our rituals and in our forms of sacred offerings. Knowing this, we should be extra careful that we are not clouding our intentions with improperly used symbols.

They are the visual carriers of meaning to our brains and should therefore be respected and honored by proper use. This starts with education and research but the rewards are infinite. Not only will it deepen your appreciation for the symbol, but also you will begin to see the similarities between cultures, symbols, and meanings across cultures and recognize the interconnectedness that resonates with in us all.

Therefore, the next time you see a symbol you do not recognize, do not simply take it as appealing or appalling, but delve deeper and understand its true meaning for learning is the secret of the path, and it never stops.

Originally printed in Witchvox, June 17. 2007

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Entering school is both stressful and exciting for children. This is the time that friendships are made, social skills learned and independence from parents earned one step at a time. Is this experience different for Pagan children?

The answer to this question has a lot of variables, such as the school district, area of the country, ethnic/religious makeup, etc. In my experience it is definitely different but not always in a negative way.

Learning about the school’s makeup can be a good way to decide how much preparation you need to provide your child with before setting them loose on the school bus or playground. Most schools will be happy to provide you with ethnic and religious statistics even if they are vague, such as “mostly middle income suburban Caucasian families”. Or simply ask to take a tour of the school and ask about diversity programs that are readily available to the students, faculty and administration and if those are also open to the parents.

If they don’t exist, consider suggesting or volunteer to help start one. Looking into these types of programs can cut footwork later if a problem arises and most administrators would rather deal with a few polite questions during registration or open house than an angry phone call after there has been a problem. Also find out if there are any regulations concerning the wearing of religious jewelry, etc beforehand so there isn’t any embarrassing letters or phone calls from school.

I try and make it a point to send a letter to my children’s teacher the start of every year that explains what our family’s practices are, some of our holidays and contact information in case the teacher has any questions. I’ve always ended up discussing our practices with their teachers at one point and most are curious to get a glimpse into the lives of the child outside school.

Also I try to volunteer when I can to help with things that I’m good with. Chaperoning, Volunteering for Earth day, etc can go a long way to build up good relations with the school, its teachers and it is a lot of fun as well. Plus is helps to focus the emphasis on our similarities and not on our differences, which can make all the difference in the world.

If they offer a day where they discuss holiday traditions offer to assist your child or to present some of your family’s traditions along with the parents of other children that day. Most schools these days encourage the children to learn about other cultures and traditions; this falls nicely into that if the teacher and administration welcome it. But don’t force them into it if its not part of their curriculum, it may not be they don’t want to, these days children are a lot busier in school than we were at their age.

If you are not in an area where there is a good diversity among the student population you may want to consider other activities to involve you child in that will give them a community of their own outside of school, even if it is just at full moon or once a month. Having peers that are similar to themselves is important to keeping them from thinking they are an oddity or an outcast.

Organizations such as Scouting groups, Coven groups or events held by local bookstores geared at families or children might be a place to start, or look online for local Pagan playgroups or home schooling groups, even if you do not home school as a social outlet for your child.

Most Pagan gatherings offer children’s programming and more and more fairy festivals and earth day celebrations are springing up along with Pagan Pride day events. These are all treasure troves of networking opportunities.

It is important to keep the lines of communication open with your children, ask how their day at school was, and listen, that way you can address problems before they are chronic. Get to know the friends they make and encourage them to introduce you to their friend’s parents. If you start early, you can avoid the “embarrassing parent” syndrome that plagues the parents of teenagers.

Even though you may be different than their friend’s parents, it’s still nice to know who they are exposed to, especially when sleepovers and dating becomes part of life.

How do you handle a friendship separated by religious differences? Depending on where the separation is coming from (the parent or the child) it’s generally best to explain to your child that not everyone is as accepting as you may be and to not dislike the person because of it but to continue to be polite to them and maybe there will be a change.

If it is coming from the parents, maybe call them and find out if there is something that can be done and where the problem stems from, people’s minds can’t always be changed but it may be worth your time to try to dispel some myths if they think their children may be in harm by associating with your child.

How do you handle the friends who want to practice with your family even if their family doesn’t approve? That’s a tricky one. You cannot open yourself up to problems by allowing that child to do things their parent wouldn’t approve of, but you may be able to talk to the parent and let them know the child is curious and find out what is ok and what isn’t.

Also invite the parents to join as well. That way it doesn’t look like you are trying to keep something hidden from them that usually cause nothing but problems.

How much do you encourage your child to talk about in school? Depending on how “out of the closet” you are, you may need to discuss discretion with your child or situational discretion. Remember, children don’t always have the filters we adults do, so if it’s not safe to repeat, keep it out of the sound shot of little ears.

I personally have no closet issues, but I live in a relatively progressive diverse area, but I still have taught my kids that not everyone understands our practices and doesn’t need to know every detail of last week’s full moon ritual.

So with a little patience and a lot of communication, you can survive even the toughest parenting nightmare. Schools are there to be a resource not an obstacle, if we learn to work with them; we remain in the ally ranks.

Good luck in your parenting adventures and Goddess Bless.